You’ve been there. So have I. You find yourself in the familiar situation of not “being able” to do something because you “have to” do something else.
It’s the perfect reason…or escape…or excuse. Not only do you avoid hurting anyone’s feelings by eliminating any illusion that you have a choice in the matter, you are esteemed for your commitment to you obligations!
What a sham! The perfect sleight of hand! You have just executed the perfect lie and, very likely, come out of the whole thing looking rather respectable! You have abdicated your need to make any decision to your circumstances.
Is it really a lie? It most certainly is! It may not be a malicious or even intentional lie, but it certainly isn’t grounded in truth.
You do not have to do anything. You simply don’t. You have a choice. You always have a choice. ALWAYS.
When you consider the consequences of your choice, it may seem like you don’t have a choice, but you do.
But…if I don’t work, I won’t have the money. Correct. Maybe you can get by with less money. Or maybe you can sell of what you have. Maybe you need less stuff…or food…or house than you currently have. Maybe you can work less for a smaller lifestyle.
But…if I don’t breathe, I’ll die. True. But that too is a choice. Sadly, people make decisions to the contrary every day. But with every breath, you are making the decision to continue living.
But…if I don’t pay taxes, I’ll go to jail. True. But you can still make that choice.
When we buy into the “have to” lie, we are substituting perceived obligation for choice. If we are not intentional with our “obligations,” we might end up living on cruise control.
One final thought. Eliminating the “have to lie” is uncomfortable. When my kids ask me to stay home from work and play, I can no longer (in good conscience) tell them, “I have to go to work.” No, I have to stop and think…weigh my choices…and decide…honestly…am I choosing my work and customers and making over my kids…or am I choosing my kids over work?